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I am scarred and scarring

Every time I realize a new scar I am scarring.
Every day my impasse becomes more clear…I scar
Each time I acknowledge the weight thrust against me I am scarring

The scars are thick; ridges line the insides of my belly
The scars are wide; they cover my chest and sternum
They lie beneath my eyes, branded there and growing. In
their healing they are growing.

Growing high towards my eyes. Growing wide to snuff my breath
Growing deep behind my tongue, blocking
where the air comes from, blocking
where the air flows too…

Ugly smooth ridges coat my insides.
They flow down my throat; they flow behind my breast.
They are my breasts…they flow into the cavity of my breathing.
They are my lungs…they flow
into the pit of my empty stomach…into the
walls of my womb…I am sterile

My spine is crunched and buckling with their weight
My back is breaking from their cling
My legs are stopped by their tenacity
My feet are bound

My hands are bound, my fingers still flail
My throat is stopped; my mouth still will open
My face is shrouded; my eyes will stay wide
My scalp is swathed; my brain is ignited

My chest constricted, my heart will stay beating

woman of colour

My hands are bound, my fingers still flailing
My throat is stopped, my mouth hangs open
My face is shrouded, my eyes still wide
My scalp is swathed, my brain ignited

by Eleanor Parris

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